XANGA HAS MOVED TO: i_KANDiE

subsribe now bitch!!

m00d:

its almost 3 in the morning.. about 2:46.. i havent had any normal sleep the past week.. maybe about.. 4 to 5 hours (thats how it was in skool)... its bothering me so much... all i can do.. is sit here.. think of him... listen to depressing love songs.. and just cry.. cry til i sleep.. this is killin me meyn.. just wish there was some other guy just like him.. only. it wasn't him.. it was someone else.. someone.. who loved me back.

hey ya... well.. here i am.. at home.. bored.. i finally got my hook for XTC hahahahaha.. lmao i'm so happy.. well i know.. everyone knows.. that you can only ditch this world of chaotic drama and uncontrolable feelings of endless pain for only a few hours.. but i guess the euphoria would be worth it.. i told **** that i wud pay for his expenses if he got me 2 of dem.. lmao.. and they better be tha real thing man.. i know the real from the fake. i've seen real. i've seen fake... yeah well.. sorry to share this.. Mr. BSer..

but those ex pills u took in Jamaica.. are fuggin FAKE.. hahaha.. trust me.. u wud have been hallucinating and ur eyes wud have been red like GHS' mascot.. lol

TOO BAD CUZ U JUST GOT RIPPED.. LMA0

oh well. not my problem.. so anywho. im jus soo yipee!! i dont care what anyone thinks man.. cuz ya know.. no one really cares what i do. right? of course.. so i guess its safe to say.. that i can sit in my room and just hear and see crazy things and stuff... well that would suck if i was about to O.D... and i had no one to call.. cuz i just implyed that no one cared.. but ya know.. peoples are weird when it come to friendship.. their in, then their out... it seems.

well i could care less about what it would do to my reputation.. not like i can do shit about that anyways.. if people think im a slut.. even though i'm not.. that's their fuckin problem... s2pid bitches.. lol... they think i care what theythink of me.. holy shit.. are you kidding me? i have better things to do than think of who thinks what of me.. and i dont talk shit about you people. don't flatter yourselves.. i woulnd waste my breath on the likes of you.. lol. sorry just had to get that out.. eventually it will come out of my physical being.. the time will come soon.. ok so en who..

im really bored.. i just hop **** will call me 2morro (when he sed he'd get back to me)... then its 60 bux for him.. (20 for 4.. and then 40 for his expenses..) i owe him a birthday gift anyways.. pshh.. so ther u go. happy belated or early birthday ****!! lol

well i know what i'm getting myself into.. if i didn't.. i wouldn't be doing it.. i dunno.. i JUST FEEL S0 REALLY CRAPPED UP AB0UT THE GUY i FiND MYSELF ALL 0F THE SUDDEN iNT0 AGAiN.. AND i JUST CAN'T TALK T0 ANY0NE.. CAUSE EVERY0NE iS T00 BUSY HAViNG FUN T0 TRY AND SEE THE CRAP i'M PUTTiNG MYSELF THR0UGH.. AND THEY'LL JUST TELL ME..

WELL HE D0ESN'T HAVE FEELiNGS F0R Y0U

HE LiKES S0ME0NE ELSE

HE WAS JUST DEPRESSED

BLAH BLAH BLAH!! WHY THE FUCK D0 Y0U THiNK i FEEL S0 DAMN S2PiD AB0UT TRiPPEN 0VER THiS GUY MAN!! GRR.. PE0PLE D0N'T KN0W ME LiKE THEY THiNK THEY D0...

~1/Stylez

i CL0SE MY EYES AND SEE HIS FACE

THEN i FEEL HiS ARM AR0UND MY WAiST

HE M0VES iN CL0SER T0 T0UCH MY LiPS

AS HiS HANDS M0VE D0WN T0 H0LD MY HiPS

THEN JUST F0R THAT 0NE M0MENT iN TiME

i KN0W THAT HE'LL BE F0REVER MiNE

BUT i 0PEN MY EYES AND SiT iN BED

JUST THiNKiNG.. iT WAS 0NLY iN MY HEAD

THEY T0LD ME THE NEWS AND REALiTY

THAT HE REALLY DiDN'T CARE AB0UT ME

i LET iT G0, KN0WiNG iT WAS A PHASE

BUT THE MEM0RY WAS JUST T00 HARD T0 ERASE

F0R FiVE M0NTHS i'VE BEEN H00KED 0N HiS T0UCH

i JUST MiSS HiM S0 DAMN MUCH

i WiSH HE W0ULD FiND THE HEART T0 CARE

0R HAVE THE EYES T0 SEE THAT i'M THERE

i ALWAYS W0NDER iF HE THiNKS 0F ME

EVEN iF iT'S SMALL 0R RAND0MLY

i CAN'T SEE WHY i FEEL THiS WAY

FR0M THE DARK C0LD NiGHT

T0 THE BRiGHT SHiNiNG DAY

HE'S iN MY TH0UGHT AND iN MY DREAMS

BUT HE'S S0 FAR AWAY, iT SEEMS

EVEN TH0UGH HE'S AS NEAR AS A HUG

i KN0W i W0N'T BE ABLE T0 HAVE HiS L0VE

(DAMN.. HE'S iN MY HEAD.. iN MY TH0UGHTS... iN MY DREAMS.. LiTERALLY... STiLL REMEMBERiN THAT DAY.. LiKE iT WAS YESTERDAY.. BUT i D0N'T UNDERSTAND WHY.. WHY iS iT S0 HARD F0R ME T0 LET G0.. WHY H0LD 0N.. WHAT WiLL i GET 0UT 0F D0iNG WHAT i D0?... ONLY G0D CAN DECiDE.. i JUST H0PE THAT.. WHATEVER HE CH00SES F0R ME, iT'S F0R THE BEST.. AND THAT i'LL BE ABLE T0 SEE THAT)